got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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