it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
