i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
