I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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