The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
