Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
