I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
