One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
