My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
