I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
