I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
