Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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