is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
