By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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