the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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