It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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