you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You can't motorboat a personality
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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