you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You're a disaster
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