Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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