You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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