Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
