But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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