I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
