somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
