he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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