You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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