Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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