physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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