I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
