Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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