I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
