i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
