Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize