He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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