if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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