Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
