kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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