No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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