i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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