Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
