I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
