And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
