This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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