i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
