Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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