Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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