I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
