I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
