Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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