She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
