Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I did not marry a roomba.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
