One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
