Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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