Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
