Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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