I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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