you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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