Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
