I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize